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Witney Seibold

Tomatometer-approved critic

Reviews

Movies TV Shows
Primate (2025) 79% 5/10 EDIT “In terms of bold, create action, it falls a little short. But in terms of cheap, late-night, exploitation flick fun, it satisfies ” – Slashfilm Jan 8, 2026 Full Review The Housemaid (2025) 74% 8/10 EDIT “One might have a lot more fun with "A Simple Favor," but "The Housemaid" is among Feig's best work. ” – Slashfilm Dec 16, 2025 Full Review TRON: Ares (2025) 53% 4/10 EDIT “There are several tantalizing sci-fi ideas within "Tron: Ares" that the filmmakers aren't the least bit interested in exploring. ” – Slashfilm Oct 7, 2025 Full Review A Big Bold Beautiful Journey (2025) 36% 4.5/10 EDIT “The film's conversations about love feel academic, theoretical, and inconclusive. There is no fire, no heat, no passion.” – Slashfilm Sep 16, 2025 Full Review Nobody 2 (2025) 76% 6.5/10 EDIT “If this had been the first "Nobody," no one would have been clamoring for a sequel. But it is a glorious Saturday matinée, a brisk trifle for the waning days of summer. ” – Slashfilm Aug 13, 2025 Full Review The Fantastic Four: First Steps (2025) 86% 9/10 EDIT “"First Steps" is a superhero movie where we're already better. And I love that.  ” – Slashfilm Jul 22, 2025 Full Review F1 The Movie (2025) 82% 4.5/10 EDIT “Had "F1" been a tight 90 minutes, perhaps a lot of its more glaring writing flaws could be forgiven, or at least ignored. ” – Slashfilm Jun 17, 2025 Full Review Karate Kid: Legends (2025) 58% 7/10 EDIT “Both of the films embedded in "Karate Kid: Legends" are standardly satisfying. ” – Slashfilm May 28, 2025 Full Review Fountain of Youth (2025) 35% 5/10 EDIT “The film lacks the wonderment and excitement of Indiana Jones, but it's not quite as dumb as "The Da Vinci Code," and certainly less obnoxious than, say, "Red Notice."” – Slashfilm May 22, 2025 Full Review Hurry Up Tomorrow (2025) 14% 2/10 EDIT “We're expected to find the Weeknd's melancholy entertaining. It isn't. Nor is "Hurry Up Tomorrow." It's just awful.  ” – Slashfilm May 16, 2025 Full Review A Minecraft Movie (2025) 48% 7/10 EDIT “"A Minecraft Movie" is a broad, slapstick farce without a hint of seriousness, reverence, or coolness. The most shocking thing? It's not terrible. ” – Slashfilm Apr 4, 2025 Full Review Disney's Snow White (2025) 39% 6.5/10 EDIT “The result is, despite the mercenary motivations, affably watchable. It's hollow, but unlike some more recent remakes, it seems to have thoughts in its head.” – Slashfilm Mar 19, 2025 Full Review The Electric State (2025) 14% 6/10 EDIT “The images are slick and thematically tantalizing, but ultimately "The Electric State" is an intellectually dull, not-very-funny action spectacular. ” – Slashfilm Mar 11, 2025 Full Review Love Hurts (2025) 18% 5/10 EDIT “"Love Hurts" has at least a certain degree of bemused, violent verve and a mere modicum of kung-fu retro style.” – Slashfilm Feb 6, 2025 Full Review Flight Risk (2025) 29% 5/10 EDIT “"Flight Risk" perfectly serviceable, completely innocuous entertainment. It's fine. It's meh.  ” – Slashfilm Jan 24, 2025 Full Review Mufasa: The Lion King (2024) 56% 5.5/10 EDIT “Seeing how Mufasa from "The Lion King" grew up is little more than pop filler. It's a Silmarillion for Disney Adults. It's ultimately kind of useless.  ” – Slashfilm Dec 17, 2024 Full Review Kraven the Hunter (2024) 15% 5/10 EDIT “There is no presumption that fans will be interested in long-form mythmaking, and sequel teases remain light. This allows "Kraven" to be stupid on its own. And, in a weird way, that's a relief. We're free. ” – Slashfilm Dec 11, 2024 Full Review Wicked (2024) 88% 4/10 EDIT “It's a long, ineffectual, busy, mushy mess. And it's not even finished yet. ” – Slashfilm Nov 19, 2024 Full Review Conclave (2024) 93% 7.5/10 EDIT “"Conclave" is full of secrets and conspiracies, but mercifully never approaches Dan Brown levels of dumb ridiculousness. ” – Slashfilm Oct 23, 2024 Full Review We Live in Time (2024) 79% 8/10 EDIT “The most notable detail about John Crowley's new romantic drama "We Live in Time" is how brazenly uncomplicated it is. ” – Slashfilm Oct 10, 2024 Full Review The Platform 2 (2024) 35% 6/10 EDIT “"The Platform 2" doesn't expand on the first's themes of class and ill-begotten resource allocation, but it does, at the very least, tell the story in a slightly more personal way.” – Slashfilm Oct 3, 2024 Full Review The Crow (2024) 22% 3.5/10 EDIT “Thanks to sloppy editing and a general lack of basic storytelling acumen, events speed past without much explanation, emotional resonance, or, in some scenes, basic communication. ” – Slashfilm Aug 22, 2024 Full Review Kinds of Kindness (2024) 71% 8/10 EDIT “It may not be the best Lanthimos, but it's certainly the most Lanthimos.” – Slashfilm Jun 17, 2024 Full Review Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024) 80% 8/10 EDIT “Thank goodness, then, for Wes Ball's "Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes," handily the best of the new Apes series. It is a film that fast-forwards deep into the post-ape world, takes a few deep breaths, and lets us live there for a moment. ” – Slashfilm May 8, 2024 Full Review Challengers (2024) 88% 7.5/10 EDIT “Guadagnino spins a pretty simple tale into a 131-minute epic. ” – Slashfilm Apr 12, 2024 Full Review
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