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Michael Coldwell

Michael Coldwell's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer® when published at Tomatometer-approved publication(s).
Publications:

Reviews

Movies TV Shows
Vivarium (2020) 73% 6/10 EDIT “Imogen Poots is a fine actress and goes to pieces rather brilliantly, and Jesse Eisenberg sucks the air out of every scene he's in, which may or may not be brilliant acting.” – Starburst Mar 24, 2020 Full Review The Exorcist III (1990) 58% 8/10 EDIT “[George C. Scott] delivers a soulfully pained performance as detective Kinderman from the first movie.” – Starburst Dec 28, 2019 Full Review Yesterday (2019) 63% 3/10 EDIT “If you must gorge yourself to this soft-focus treacle, be prepared to have the White Album on constant repeat for a full week afterwards to get your insulin level out of danger.” – Starburst Jun 12, 2019 Full Review Apollo 11 (2019) 99% 10/10 EDIT “Apollo 11's bold focus on the key emotional stages of the mission takes you back through a story you thought you knew in a way that is utterly immersive. The past has rarely been so present.” – Starburst May 20, 2019 Full Review Greta (2018) 61% 6/10 EDIT “The oodles of class Huppert brings to proceedings are hobbled by a script that crunches through the gears rather too predictably once the big 'ah-ha!' twist is out the way early on.” – Starburst Apr 12, 2019 Full Review Inheritance (2017) 7/10 EDIT “Inheritance won't satisfy all tastes, but if you like your horror enigmatic and your scares truly earned, it's a refreshing take on the haunted house genre.” – Starburst Mar 1, 2019 Full Review Opera (1987) 90% 9/10 EDIT “An exercise in extremity, always strongest when shunting things into overdrive.” – Starburst Dec 10, 2018 Full Review Rats (1984) EDIT “There's plenty of ratty nastiness, all wonderfully pre-CGI and much of it quite well done, without ever hitting Fulci-levels of ickyness. That said, fans of 80s video rental gore will be delighted with the deaths on offer.” – Starburst Nov 12, 2018 Full Review Monkey Shines (1988) 55% 7/10 EDIT “The absurdity is played up, the dark laughs are plentiful and some very-repeatable lines of dialogue suggest Romero may have been midway through a John Waters marathon at the time.” – Starburst Oct 8, 2018 Full Review Venom (2018) 31% 7/10 EDIT “Taken for what it is, Venom is a good night out -- a fast-paced, often hilarious creature feature that's nowhere near the train wreck critics would have you believe.” – Starburst Oct 5, 2018 Full Review Mandy (2018) 91% 10/10 EDIT “If it occurs to you as [Cage] slashes, shoots and screams his way to the climax (pausing only to snort a giant heap of coke off a shard of broken mirror) that you are witnessing his finest hour, you'd be dead right.” – Starburst Sep 11, 2018 Full Review Make Them Die Slowly (1981) 40% 7/10 EDIT “Cannibal Ferox might not fit most people's idea of entertainment but you, dear readers, are not most people. Well worth a look if you have the stomach for it.” – Starburst Jul 30, 2018 Full Review Hotel Artemis (2018) 57% 7/10 EDIT “Hotel Artemis is futuristic chamber piece a million miles from Pearce's usual big-budget hunting ground that benefits from its focused scope, top cast, and off-beat concept.” – Starburst Jul 26, 2018 Full Review Slave of the Cannibal God (1977) 7/10 EDIT “Mountain of the Cannibal God is probably the classiest of the entrail-ripping cannibal genre.” – Starburst Jun 1, 2018 Full Review Mary and The Witch's Flower (2017) 89% 6/10 EDIT “There's nothing here we haven't seen done before -- and better.” – Starburst May 8, 2018 Full Review Anon (2018) 38% 8/10 EDIT “A high-concept popcorn movie and none the worse for that, Anon gets the tech noir job done and will leave you pondering your digital footprint as you nervously exit the theatre. Mind the step.” – Starburst May 3, 2018 Full Review Offerings (1988) 3/10 EDIT “Offerings isn't stylish enough to be considered a homage: whenever anything sinister is about to happen, the first seven notes of the Halloween theme are played to remind you whose porch Reynolds is pooping on.” – Starburst Apr 12, 2018 Full Review Sharknado 5: Global Swarming (2017) 30% 2/10 EDIT “[Ziering] may be wise-cracking his way through this stuff with a self-aware smirk, but look deep into his eyes and you'll see something else staring back this movie can only dream about: blind terror.” – Starburst Apr 12, 2018 Full Review The Final Master (2015) 67% 7/10 EDIT “Confusing it may be, boring it isn't.” – Starburst Mar 6, 2018 Full Review The Lullaby (2017) 73% 8/10 EDIT “Steeped in horror tradition and drenched in the red stuff, The Lullaby is a fiendishly nasty bit of babysitting well worth staying in for.” – Starburst Feb 28, 2018 Full Review Downsizing (2017) 47% 4/10 EDIT “The really sobering economy of scale about this overlong auteur indulgence is that it cost $68 million to make and none of that money went on a script doctor.” – Starburst Feb 2, 2018 Full Review The Cat o' Nine Tails (1971) 81% 7/10 EDIT “The casting is spot-on.” – Starburst Jan 26, 2018 Full Review Edgar Allan Poe's Lighthouse Keeper (2016) 6/10 EDIT “Worth checking out if you come across it (as opposed to seeking out), The Lighthouse Keeper is a modest scare-fest which channels the neurotic introspection Poe brought to the likes Fall of the House of Usher and The Pit and the Pendulum.” – Starburst Dec 14, 2017 Full Review Blood Harvest (1986) 4/10 EDIT “The Blood Harvest looks like it was a lot of fun to make but is a chore to watch, lacking the spark to lift it above the pack in a crowded indie-horror marketplace.” – Starburst Nov 9, 2017 Full Review Life After Flash (2017) 89% 7/10 EDIT “A life-affirming tribute to a cult movie and its star who triumphed against the odds, Life After Flash could do without those unrelated interviews but, at its core is a fascinating tale that all fans of the 1980 movie should seek out.” – Starburst Nov 9, 2017 Full Review
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