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Cleaver Patterson

Cleaver Patterson's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer® when published at Tomatometer-approved publication(s).
Publications:

Reviews

Movies TV Shows
White Settlers (2014) 45% 3/5 EDIT “The underlying premise of this film is nothing new... however, the subject is given a topical twist, considering the possible tensions which may arise as the vote on Scottish independence draws near.” – CineVue Apr 3, 2019 Full Review The Nut Job (2014) 13% 3/5 EDIT “A pleasant -- if untaxing -- surprise.” – CineVue Apr 3, 2019 Full Review Tarzan (2013) 20% 3/5 EDIT “Tarzan (brought alive with just the right degree of unsophisticated innocence by Lutz) and Jane, when together in the jungle, are just believable and appealing enough to make the viewer forget the film's weaker elements.” – CineVue Mar 21, 2019 Full Review The Machine (2013) 79% 4/5 EDIT “Here, the actions and objectives of the government manufactured robots are as volatile and unpredictable as those of the scientists and officials who create them, resulting in scenarios which are as shocking as they're unexpected.” – CineVue Mar 8, 2019 Full Review I, Frankenstein (2014) 5% 2/5 EDIT “I, Frankenstein's finale predictably leaves it open for a sequel, the thought of which would likely have the Baron and his creation spinning in their graves.” – CineVue Mar 7, 2019 Full Review Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf's (2013) 48% 3/5 EDIT “Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf's will bare little semblance to reality for most people. However, as a window into a world which few of us will enter, it makes an entertaining diversion from the everyday norm.” – CineVue Mar 6, 2019 Full Review Rough Cut (2013) 20% 2/5 EDIT “Though intriguing in its premise, Shovlin's bold cinematic experiment fails by being too portentous for its own good.” – CineVue Mar 6, 2019 Full Review Carrie (2013) 51% 3/5 EDIT “Pulls off the unenviable task of being both respectful to the original whilst spicing the story with enough fresh twists that it doesn't appear like a scene-by-scene retread of its forebear.” – CineVue Mar 6, 2019 Full Review Sir Billi (2013) 0% 1/5 EDIT “Sir Billi will leave you speechless -- though not for the right reasons.” – CineVue Mar 2, 2019 Full Review Justin and the Knights of Valor (2013) 13% 3/5 EDIT “A witty pastiche of medieval European legend which should enchant audiences of all ages.” – CineVue Mar 2, 2019 Full Review Renoir (2012) 72% 4/5 EDIT “Paints an idyllic picture of a life played out in bohemian decadence, tainted with rhapsodic and turbulent undercurrents.” – CineVue Feb 26, 2019 Full Review The ABCs of Death (2012) 40% 2/5 EDIT “The ABCs of Death's overriding air of experimentalism is its ultimate downfall. Where some are undeniably mesmeric, the majority of the films seem like student projects -- not efforts from established filmmakers.” – CineVue Feb 25, 2019 Full Review Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) 56% 4/5 EDIT “Against all the odds, Oz The Great and Powerful emanates a timeless magic which should hopefully entertain audience just as Judy Garland and her ruby slippers continue to do.” – CineVue Feb 9, 2019 Full Review May I Kill U? (2012) 13% 1/5 EDIT “A low budget British feature so inherently dreadful that it very nearly defies description.” – CineVue Feb 8, 2019 Full Review Texas Chainsaw (2013) 20% 2/5 EDIT “Starts promisingly but soon becomes yet another sub-standard American gorefest, with little or no real body.” – CineVue Feb 7, 2019 Full Review Quartet (2012) 80% 4/5 EDIT “A delightful cocktail of friendship and the acceptance of the frailties, both in yourself and in others.” – CineVue Feb 7, 2019 Full Review Hotel Transylvania (2012) 45% 3/5 EDIT “The way this collection of monster misfits tackle both each other and the threat of human invasion has the right degree of wit and sophistication to amuse adults whilst being zany and slapstick enough to hold children's attention.” – CineVue Feb 5, 2019 Full Review Sinister (2012) 64% 3/5 EDIT “Though heavy on atmosphere, it ultimately looses itself in recognisable old-school frights such as unaccountable noises at the dead of night and frequent rain lashed storms.” – CineVue Feb 5, 2019 Full Review Inbred (2011) 25% 1/5 EDIT “A grotesque pastiche of every horror classic you can think of, which ultimately fails through its lack of anything even remotely resembling wit or style.” – CineVue Feb 5, 2019 Full Review When the Lights Went Out (2012) 36% 3/5 EDIT “As a haunted house film, its use of darkened corridors, banging doors and moonlit fields surrounded by trees rustled with sudden gusts of wind, lend the proceedings an authentically creepy ambience.” – CineVue Feb 5, 2019 Full Review Hope Springs (2012) 75% 3/5 EDIT “There's an underlying air of reliability which allows the viewer to sit back, relax and enjoy its easy humour and the chemistry between Streep and Jones.” – CineVue Feb 2, 2019 Full Review The Queen of Versailles (2012) 95% 4/5 EDIT “As a car-crash depiction of the strained relationships of a family fixated with the accumulation of wealth and possessions however, the film is as mesmerising as it is shocking.” – CineVue Feb 2, 2019 Full Review The Devil's Business (2011) 71% 4/5 EDIT “A film infused with subtle shocks and old-school horror, which uses stealthy inference rather than blatant, crass visuals.” – CineVue Feb 2, 2019 Full Review The Reverend (2011) 1/5 EDIT “Sitting through it is an endurance test akin to penance.” – CineVue Jan 31, 2019 Full Review Chernobyl Diaries (2012) 18% 3/5 EDIT “The result, though no classic, is definitely enough to make you rethink going on a suspect European coach trip anytime soon.” – CineVue Jan 11, 2019 Full Review
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